


Pineapple-Infested

by waketosleep



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Cluelessness, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-05
Updated: 2010-10-05
Packaged: 2017-10-12 11:11:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/124239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waketosleep/pseuds/waketosleep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve wants to make sure Danny's eating right. He has plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pineapple-Infested

**Author's Note:**

> MEG: PINEAPPLE INFESTED HELLHOLE  
> MER: here's a thought: is pineapple supposed to improve the taste of semen or make it worse? I know it's one of those  
> MEG: I fucking dare you to google it  
> MER: oh google instant + suggestions  
> I got to 'does eating pineapple ma' and it finished with '....make you taste better'  
> MEG: hahahaha  
> MER: IT DOES

"Hey, Danny." Steve stepped back from the door to let Danny in. "I got pizza, do you want some?"

Danny made a face at the thought of pizza that wasn't from New York, but his stomach thought his brain was being a snob. He sauntered over to the box on the coffee table, automatically grabbed the beer Steve was handing him, and lifted the lid.

"Fuck," he said, letting it drop again. "How many times have we had this conversation? Ham and pineapple do not go on pizza!"

Steve pulled a piece out of the box, leaned in close to Danny, and took a dramatically large bite of it. "Mmm," he said, sounding way too happy, " _pineapple_. On my _pizza_. It's so _delicious_."

Danny just dropped onto the couch and turned up the football game in protest.

***

Since Steve didn't believe in the idea of overkill, things got fucking ridiculous from there.

"Hungry?" he asked when Danny stopped by one Sunday with Grace. He held up a bowl of pineapple chunks.

"Yummy!" said Grace, diving in. Danny used the cover of her turned back to give Steve the finger.

And another time, during an afternoon stakeout when it was fucking _a hundred and six_ and the vog was making Danny wish for death, "Hey, I got you a shaved ice." Steve ducked into the car and held out some colourful shit in a cup.

Danny examined it carefully. "What flavour is it?"

Steve sat down with his own and shoved a spoonful in his mouth. "Guava, kiwi and pineapple," he said with his mouth full.

Danny stuck it in the cupholder and went back to watching the warehouse.

And also: "Are you ready to have your minds blown by my culinary skills?" Steve called from the kitchen.

Danny shot Grace a raised eyebrow that made her giggle behind her hands. "The Navy taught you how to cook, too? I thought they had those MRE things."

"Those MRE things make a hungry man lose his will to live. I learned how to cook at home, Danno." Steve set down plates in front of them.

"Fish," said Danny, looking down at his.

"Seared rare ahi in pineapple-ginger broth," corrected Steve, sitting down with his own plate.

Danny sighed.

And finally: "Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!"

Danny woke up to Steve pounding on his door. He answered it in his boxers, just to be an ass, and glared squintily. "Do you know what fucking time it is?"

"Breakfast time." Steve held out a paper bag. "We've got work to do."

Danny tried again. "Do you know what fucking time I went to bed last night?"

"Probably before me." Steve let himself in while Danny went to flail at the coffee maker and then find the shower.

The breakfast Steve had brought, Danny discovered in the car, was eggs on a hamburger patty with a side of rice, and a sealed cup of juice.

"Is this OJ?" Danny peered at the opaque lid before popping it open.

"Pineapple juice," said Steve cheerfully as the tropical smell assaulted Danny. "Goes great with Loco Moco and starts the day off right."

Danny dumped it out the window onto the road. "You bet."

***

"What the fuck is Steve's obsession with pineapple, anyway?" Danny asked Chin one day.

"What do you mean? Does Steve have inappropriate relations with fruit or something?" Chin was messing with the Table. Spider Solitaire may have been involved, not that Danny was paying much attention.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" Danny marvelled, before getting back on topic. "No, I mean, he keeps trying to get me to eat pineapple like he thinks it'll save my life."

"You don't like it?"

"I have no real feelings on it. I guess I don't like it being shoved down my throat?"

Chin looked up at him then and grinned, and all the hair on the back of Danny's neck stood up. "Pineapple's good for you," he said. "He's just watching out for you, man. You crazy mainlanders."

Danny looked down over his shoulder. "Put the four on the five."

"Mind your own business."

***

They walked into Steve's house sideways, after Steve somehow unlocked and opened the door without ever detaching his lips from Danny's neck. Fucking Special Forces. Danny was still in denial about how hot that MacGyver-Rambo-James Bond shit was.

Steve dragged Danny into his bedroom by his lapels and threw him on the bed before attacking his belt. Danny did his best to lie absolutely still, rather than get in the way of that.

"Finally," Steve hissed when he got Danny's dick out of his pants, and Danny's eyes rolled back in his head a little when Steve went down on him.

It was over embarrassingly fast; Danny managed a warning squeeze to Steve's shoulder but instead of pulling off, Steve did some kind of tongue-swirly thing that made him shout when he came. When the buzzing in Danny's ears faded and was replaced by the vague beginnings of a freakout, Steve was getting to his feet with a funny look on his face. Danny watched through a haze as Steve disappeared into the bathroom; the tap came on after a second and then Steve came back to join him on the bed, yanking off the rest of their clothes.

"Did you enjoy that?" Steve asked as he undid Danny's shirt buttons.

"Very much."

"Good." Steve leaned down to kiss him and Danny tasted mouthwash. He hadn't thought he tasted that bad. Never mouthwash-bad, anyway. But Steve was insane, so whatever.

"Still don't like pineapple, huh?" Steve said a few minutes later, his breath going ragged from Danny's excellent efforts.

"You haven't sold me on its merits, no," said Danny, wondering if he should be offended that Steve could change the subject like that while having his nipples sucked on.

Steve muttered something that sounded a lot like, "Fucking haoles".

THE END


End file.
